Excess Hollywood

ATHEIST-THEMED 'GOLDEN COMPASS' PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE

The Golden Compass pointed south this weekend, opening with an estimated $26.1 million, significantly less than the $30 million to $40 million New Line Cinema had predicted. The film had been widely criticized by church groups, particularly Catholic organizations, for its supposed anti-religious message, and New Line worldwide distribution and marketing president Rolf Mittweg concedes that might have had an impact.  "All we can do now is pray", said Mittweg, who is hoping that the film's international box office and DVD revenue will make up the difference.  Asked what he thought were the chances of that happening, Mittweg just shook his head.  "I don't know...The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Related:  Compass Box Office Win Is Far From Golden

PARIS HILTON DEBUTS NEW '4PLAY' VIDEO GAME

Paris Hilton unveiled her new video game on Thursday in a brief appearance at the Electronic Entertainment Expo.  Aptly titled, "4Play" puts in charge of Paris Hilton and three of her skankiest friends as they embark on a quest to find the magical joystick of love.  The game has not yet been x-rated.

Related: Hilton Causes Stir At Video Game Expo

HOLLYWOOD STUDIO TO MAKE BIG SCREEN VERSION OF PONG

In a move that perhaps illustrates the increasing desperation of Hollywood, Universal Pictures has announced that it will mount a big-screen blockbuster version of the original classic video game "Pong".  Jake Gyllenhall will star as a moving dot who bounces
backwords and forwards between two paddles, to be played by Uma Thurman and The Rock, respectively.  A high-ranking Universal Pictures production executive had this to say: "We are exstatic to be bringing an updated Pong to the masses.  It's one of the more beloved video game classics and one which we are sure will resonate with both adults who grew up with the game and kids who are part of the current video game generation."  Peter Jackson is rumored to be directing.

PASSION DVD SHIPS WITH JESUS 'BLOOPERS'

The new DVD release of Mel Gibson's biblical epic contains additional material related to the film include a series of controversial 'Jesus' bloopers. The outtake 'extras', depicting the son of god joking effusively with the Jewish High Priest Caiphus, Roman Proconsul Pontius Pilate, and even the traitorous Judas Iscariot has inflamed conservative Christian groups and placed Gibson's Icon Entertainment and Fox Home Entertainment on the defensive. Both companies emphatically proclaim that the inclusion of the bloopers was wholy unintended; however, neither company has attempted to dispell an additional rumor surrounding the DVD release, which is that if you play the DVD backwards, you can hear the words: "Mel Is God".

Related: 'Passion' DVD's 4 Million First Day Trails 'Nemo'

HOAX BEHEADING VIDEO WINS BELATED TOP PRIZE AT CANNES

An aspiring politician and video game designer who faked his own beheading by Iraqi militants has captured a belated top prize at the Cannes film festival. While the festival is officially over and Michael Moore's documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" is the official winner of the Palm D'Ore, the grand jury has been re-empanelled and Benjamin Vanderford has received a special jury award, along with a standing ovation from a select group of Hollywood types and french-speakers.

Related: S.F. Man Says Beheading Video Is A Hoax

BOX OFFICE POWERED BY 'VILLAGE' IDIOTS

Despite scathing critical reviews and bad word-of-mouth, a mob of of movie-goers stormed Director M. Night Shyamalan's latest spooky thriller this weekend. The Village, a period tale about weird stuff in the woods debuted with an estimated 50.8 million as the nation's new number one movie, according to preliminary studio figures released Sunday. Starring newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard alongside seasoned pros William Hurt, Sigrourny Weaver, Adrien Brody and Joaquin Phoenix, The Village featured a 'double twist' at the end as Shyamalan himself turned out to play the monster.

Related: Visitors Flock To "The Village"

LUCAS ANNOUNCES LATEST STAR WARS TITLE: "STAR WARS EPISODE III: VISA MASTERCARD ACCEPTED"

The third and final Star Wars prequel -- due for release next summer -- will show how Anakin Skywalker becomes the evil Darth Vader, while at the same time, allowing virtually anything related to the Star Wars empire to be purchased via credit card. Lucasfilm representatives acknowledged that the title is a departure to some degree from the mold set by the previous titles, but felt that the final title in this Star Wars trilogy should better reflect its true intentions. One other title considered but ultimately discarded by Lucas was "Star Wars Episode III: Back To The Bank".

Related: Third Star Wars Film Gets Title

'80 DAYS' PRODUCERS TO REMAKE 'HUDSON HAWK'

On the heels of their disastrous ninth place box office opening weekend, the producers of "Around The World In 80 Days" have announced plans to remake past blockbuster bomb "Hudson Hawk". That movie, starring Bruce Willis, landed with a giant thud at the box office when it was released, as well. Mining what they believe to be a new formula of re-making movies nobody wants to see with leads nobody is interested in watching, Verne Troyer is set to reprise the role previously played by Willis. The same producers have also announced a slate of new projects in development including remakes of 'Harlem Nights', 'Pluto Nash', and possibly even Ishtar starring Jim Belushi.

Related: 80 Days Crashes To Earth

J.LO CHANGES NAME TO J.HO

Jennifer Lopez has married Marc Anthony, five months after her well-publicised break-up with Ben Affleck. Following a surprise ceremony in the gardens of J-Lo's Beverly Hills home, J-Lo announced that she had officially changed her 'moniker' to J-Ho. This is the third marriage for Jennifer -- the first was to waiter Ojani Noa in 1997, the second to dancer Cris Judd in 2001. Marc, a Latin singer, divorced former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres last week, with whom he has three children. J-Ho is said to be expecting a baby, although she acknowledged that it could be terminated at any time.

Related: J-Lo Marries Husband No 3